Alina Vacariu
Men like to believe theyd be great in apocalypse scenarios but they dont even know how to sew
Some male friends of mine were once talking about how useful they’d be in an apocalypse, and I pointed out that as a weaver and sewer and maker of stuff, I’d be pretty damn useful and they tried to tell me they could just loot clothes from WalMart and they’d be fine. As if WalMart has endless supplies without weekly deliveries.
So just last night a friend of mine was talking about who he’d round up in the event of a zombie apocalypse and how I’m his go-to farmer on account of I know how to keep an entire homestead up and running and we’re talking about what kind of resources I’d need to keep a colony of about 50-ish people alive and i bring up what all goes into processing wool for clothing and such and he just kind of stops me like ‘wait, wait, we don’t need to do all of that because we can scavenge for clothes we don’t need to be able to make them’ and i’m just like, ‘dude, that works in the short-term maybe but if this community is going to be sustainable you’ve gotta have people whose job it is to make clothes and blankets and shit’
also cloth rots pretty quickly when left exposed to the elements and after the first few years or so anything we manage to scavenge isn’t going to be wearable anymore and anywho we’ve got to teach the kids everything or they’re not gonna know what to do some decades down the line when everything’s too rusted or rotted out to be of any practical use anymore, etc etc, and he’s reckoning that things like woodworking and smithing and ranching are more important than say, cleaning or cooking or dairying and meanwhile i’m just smh may all the gods have mercy on this poor fool
He also balked when i brought up how to run a laundry and what all was needed to make everyday shit like soap and toothpaste - like dude, you think this is going to be all about hunting and scavenging and being neato manly-man drifters like in the walking dead let me teach you a thing about keeping a village alive and healthy for more than a week man most of it is shit you keep thinking is non-essential on account of it being “women’s work” or “simple chores” that’re actually pretty labor-intensive and take time, training, knowledge, and practice to do successfully, let alone well, and are 100% absolutely necessary work in order for you to have any reasonably good quality of life after the world ends
I’m reminded of this post I read a while back about some guy who thought his underwear lasted years because his wife would periodically replace his boxers and socks with identical boxers and socks when they started to look old and he just … never noticed.
Men would literally fucking die in an apocalypse because they’re too fucking manly to survive I can’t believe this
I’m like 99% sure that you can totally believe that.
catra: i….i think i’m in love with…adora
scorpia: yeah that was covered in force captain orientation
before you say anything, think to yourself “is this something that would have gotten me diagnosed with hysteria and institutionalized in the 19th century?” and if the answer is yes, carry on
i’ll just be honest with u guys if the fate of the universe comes down to jeremy renner hawkeye saving the day then i hope t Hanos wins
locals on twitter: finally hawkeye is back!!! he will save us!!!!
gays with taste: mcu hawkeye is so useless and forgettable and a shell of comics!clint. scott lang ant-man is the REAL savior of the universe
so, as you all know, being gay was considered a mental illness in the ‘30s, if not a medical defect. and as you also know, the superserum was supposed to cure steve of all his medical defects.
imagine how overwhelmingly relieved he is after he’s gotten the serum and he realizes he’s still queer. how vindicated. the serum fixed his lungs and his back and his vision, but it can’t fix something that isn’t wrong with him, and i can’t stop thinking about his face when he realizes that his queerness isn’t something that needs to be fixed.
if Peggy Carter had received the super soldier serum she’d have come out looking exactly the way she went in
It is an unspoken rule that if a little kid is hiding under a blanket or couch cushions, you are required to comment on how lumpy the blanket is and pretend to sit on it to try and “smooth it out.”
Also, if you’re playing hide-and-seek with them, it is critical that you search every other possible (and impossible) hiding spot, all the while wondering out loud how they managed to disappear just like magic, before walking right past their hiding spot.
And if a baby starts playing peekaboo you are required to act surprised when they show their face again
If a kid shoots you with a Nerf Gun you are supposed to Die a dramatic death and explain “ugh you shot me blaahh”
when you push a kid on the swings ya gotta do the woosh
I literally just blocked about a dozen people on this post for being cranky about children.
Being a joyless shitbeast to kids isn’t cool. They’re kids. If you want to be Oscar the Grouch, that’s fine, but do it in a way they understand and explain it to them.
“I don’t want to play, I’m grumpy. Thank you, though, that was kind.”
It’s literally not hard. Kids are small people. Treat them with common fucking decency.