Alina Vacariu
If vacuum commercials used glitter as their example pile, they would convince more people their product works.
“Character who looks dangerous but is actually harmless” and “character who looks harmless but is actually dangerous” are both well and good, but consider: character who looks dangerous, and actually is, but for a completely different reason than they look like they should be.
And no, I don’t mean like “guy who wears robes with a water motif is actually a fire wizard”. I mean like “seven-foot-tall mountain of gleaming muscle with sword the size of a surfboard strapped to his back is actually the Nine Realms’ most feared lawyer”.
Hiram McDaniels, a nine headed dragon wanted for insurance fraud.
Just a head’s up, when meat eaters say things like “I’m glad you’re not like most vegans you’re cool about it” what they really mean is “I’m glad you’re silent about animal cruelty so I can eat animals without having to think about it.”
No actually what they likely mean is “I’m glad you’re not like PETA and compare women’s bodies to beef and pork” or “I’m glad you’re not the type of asshole who blames poor people for not being able to afford healthy vegan foods instead of getting upset at the grocery chains who throw out tons and tons of perfectly good produce”
see also: “im glad youre not one of those vegans who compares the meat industry to the holocaust”. anti-semetic, sexist, racist, and classist rhetoric is unfortunately quite common among vegans and it’s disingenuous as hell to act like having an issue with that is silencing vegans.
Also “I’m glad you aren’t one of those vegans who thinks I should put my health on the line”
“I’m glad you don’t harass me over my life choices because you’re a decent fucking human being who realizes that throwing humans under the bus so you can have an ego trip is a shitty thing to do”
Also: I’m glad you’re not one of those vegans who lies about what’s in food they’re feeding me when I ask about my allergens so that I don’t have to risk literally dying
“i’m glad you’re not literally blaming global climate change on me, personally, for liking cheese while corporations dump pollution directly into the ozone by the ton because it saves them a few dollars”
“i’m glad you’re not getting on a moral high horse about animal cruelty while ignoring the human rights abuses that go into farming your vegan faves like quinoa”
THAT LAST ONE
EXCUSE ME, but lemme break it down for you guys. The MCU has been going on for 10 YEARS. Within those 10 YEARS, no movie has EVER been nominated for a Golden Globe until now. Not one.
For those who, like me, didn’t hear the news before seeing this post:
This from a movie that came out in February when most nominees for these kind of awards come out much later in the year.
Wakanda forever.
modern hades runs a no-kill dog shelter and tries to act cool with his tattoos and piercings and shit and is actually so lame. persephone is a botanist and also beats up people who make fun of the flower crowns she gives hades to wear
Can you even imagine being the poor alien sod responsible for auditing an earthling spaceship’s spending allowance? Like:
“I see, and why do you require many tubes of white plant flavoured paste?”
“Oh well, if we don’t rub that on our teeth twice daily the bacteria living in my mouth will begin to devour me teeth.”
“…Noted.”
“I have also noticed several large shipments of specific medications, and a variety of individually packaged absorbent material - however injury records do not show sufficient numbers to justify these recurrent deliveries.”
“Ah, yeah, it’s not really an injury per say. As part of our natural reproductive cycle approximately half the population will shed the lining of one of their internal organs and expel it.”
“…that is the most horrifying thing that I have ever heard.”
“Yeah.”
“Does such a process not hurt?”
“That’l be what the medication’s for. Pain killers for the cramps, birth control to stop the process.”
“…and your reasoning behind the fully functional, high-tech entertainment system?”
“Okay, that we could probably do without. But in our defence that was actually insisted on as a standard feature of all fleet-ships expected to encounter Terrans. Admiral Plo’Kaght insisted on it. Something about bored humans and a an illegal betting ring featuring a cleaning robot with a knife strapped to it going up against a human with a mop?”
“…I believe I should speak with my superiors.”
I love how Stabby the Roomba has become such a consistent in-joke among these sorts of blogs.
Galactic hero stabby the roomba: his legend continues